A friend is gone…
I don’t feel well…
I don’t really know why… it’s just that I’m not really happy I guess…
A friend recently died, other friends went away and there was no replacement for them. And for a long time there was no woman at all who spent more than a few days with me and didn’t walk away on short notice.
What does it take to become a best friend?
Sometimes I think I’m just a good friend for too many people.
… on the other hand, I don’t really do much for becoming more than that…
It’s strange… I think I don’t really play well with others. Most of the time it’s exhausting for me to try to play their games…
It’s making me tired to be in their presence. All this emotional stuff…
I won’t say that I don’t feel anything… not anymore…
But there are people who seem caught in very emotional stuff which often makes them cry… but they won’t get out of there… they seem to have no interest in controlling their emotions… they can’t stop ‘em…
they’re like the old guy in the trailer for ‘the comedian’…
“get out of the booth” – “no, I like it in herrre!!!” =)
Well, I don’t mind leaving them there… but I just can’t really join them… and I wonder why.
Why did I get over a friends death so easily?
Sure, I mean it when I say that nothing is lost ever, that I believe that there’s a life after death…
fuck yeah… there’s no ‘death’ at all… it’s just that we loose our body… conciousness alsways stays…
Man, I guess I really believe…
Call me crazy, cry your eyes out, I don’t care (well, in fact, I do… but…)
I just can’t speak for others and I don’t want to go out there and tell my friend’s parents about that, because I haven’t fucking been where they are… loosing their only child…
I guess such sudden deaths cause us to rethink and reajust our beliefs… and maybe I’m just using my beliefs to escape the pain that is connected to loosing a beloved one by simply denying the loss in it…
but I don’t care, ’cause I believe and as long as I do, it’s real…
