Tormented Mind
With a glance from your eyes
and a smile from youor lips
you’ve stunned me so bad.
With a word from your heart
And a touch from your soul
You’ve driven me mad.
I can hardly speak
When you are around
My mind lies in chains
but my will is unbound…
Dear Moth!
Dear moth!
I write this text to declare that I adore you. Though seeming so small, you have plenty of strength earned from experiences.
Although you flatter around very quick, I managed to have you by my side for a moment.
How such a short time can be so intense!
Of course I would have loved to hold you, keep you a bit longer, but I understand that you have to fly away, I don’t try to catch you, for the dust on your wings is what you need to fly, I probably just would destroy it.
You were so beautiful, close to me, I hope you will visit me again!
Fly on little moth, and don’t burn your wings!
- Lyric to you -
This lyric is to you,
The one who told me how to unite with the cold, who brought me further everytime I got stuck,
who has been there, when I was lost.
Who tought me how to let others be free and to keep my demands from getting greedy.
You are my biggest challenge and my biggest bliss, everytime you’re gone I start writing about you, telling people about you
You are the part of my life I fear losing the most, though it feels impossible to loose you forever.
This is supposed to be a lyric, but sadly nothing rhymes.I just jope you get what I always wanted to tell you, what others might have sworn you, but has never passed my lips…
Life…
Some say: “give me a reason to love you”.
I say: give me a reason to fight!
Since I was born I´ve been retired,
I feel so tired, so utterly misplaced…
A vampire, waiting for the dawn, not knowing when it starts,
An old man, waiting for the train…
And waiting is the only choice…
To be allowed to leave…
- Four kisses -
Four kisses, every single one of them was different.
While waiting for the fifth it dawns on me:
I never kissed you back!
…damn!
(just another) – You -
I´ts strange to have you as a friend.
So close and yet not close enough.
Das Gegenteil von gut ist gut gemeint…
Erhalte täglich fünfzig Prozent,
Wo hundert nicht genügend wären…
I say: “It’s fate” and “c’est la vie”
but life is changing, fate is not.
I fear you saying: “ne rien pas!”
… fuck it!
Once…
Once I declared my love to be misspent,
Put in wrong place it rather hurt than helped thee.
At that time I cut our precious bond,
Threw myself into misery!
Now time has changed, forgotten are the bitter words
And as time did, so changed we.
I want to raise that precious bond again,
To be allowed, I´m asking thee…
*sigh*
The Girl… yeah… a strange episode…
Funny, how things sometimes predict themselves… I named this episode ‘The Girl’, because of a text I wrote about her. When I wrote the text, long ago, she was quite young. Well, she still is in a way… -.-
The last months I spent some time with her, a phrase popped into my head several times:
“after all, shes just seventeen”… okay, now she’s eightteen, but that doesnt seem to change a thing…
after all, she’s just eightteen… but that cant’t be the whole story, can it?
shouldn’t there be more to say, than that?
I can say that I failed… I failed at everything I tried…
I tried to help her, but she rejected it. I tried to teach her something, but she just wouldn’t learn. I tried to show her things, but she didn’t see… I tried to love her, and she didn’t accept… I tried to free her, but she’s still caught in the same patterns…
And I am the one to blame… I think I tried the wrong things… All I can do is hope, hope that time will sort things out…
I even failed when I saw things ending… I didn’t want to accept the truth… I wanted to carry on, to move on… to try and try harder, try honestly, until it worked… but seemingly, it was never meant to work out, neither for her, nor for me… and definitely not for us…
I fail too, when it comes to the point of letting go…
I know, that I better should let her go, let go, and carry on…
But a part of me is more stubborn than my mundane psyche and stops me from doing so…
It’s the same part the let me disregard the approaching failure. I think I know why:
“All my life”, I mean, at least, since “I woke up”, I failed at so many people, I failed so many people, I even failed myself with failing at, and failing them.
I now didn’t want to fail again… Of course, I failed only regarding my own goals, but who can really judge me, if not myself?
Everytime I failed at someone, It afterwards felt like burying someone… there are so many chapters in my book opf life, wich I didn’t complete, so many unspoken words…
I really thought, with saying what I felt, I could avoid burying another person… putting her into a vitrine, nice to watch, but nothing to touch… letting her get dusty…
